Turn my KPI dashboard numbers into a written update

I have KPI numbers from this week and last week (and ideally a target). I don't want a data dump — I want the story, in writing, that I can send to my team or my boss without editing.

Paste your numbers below, one metric per line, in whatever format you have them (metric: this week / last week / target).

Write:
1. One opening sentence: the single most important thing that happened in these numbers, good or bad — not "mixed results," pick the actual headline
2. For each metric that moved more than 10% either direction: what moved, by how much, and a plausible reason if one is obvious from the data (mark it "likely cause — unconfirmed" if you're inferring, not stating fact)
3. One metric that looks fine on the surface but is worth watching, and why
4. One sentence on what would need to be true next week for the overall picture to be "good"

Don't describe every metric — only the ones that moved or matter. Skip anything flat and unremarkable, just list it under a one-line "steady" note. Keep total length under 300 words. Write like a person telling a colleague what happened, not like a report.

Numbers:

[paste your KPI numbers here]